Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neuron, 25
assistant neurons, 88 deputy neurons, and 198 assistant deputy neurons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held
together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium
has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it
impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount
of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less
than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neurons and deputy neurons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neurons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium,
an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it
has half as many peons but twice as many morons.